Wayne and Kat’s Blog

 My Father passed away a few days ago and in his memory I wrote the tribute below. When I reread it, I realized that it was a perfect example of applied situation alchemy so I thought I would post it for all to see.  I hope it both serves you and that inspires you!

(Situation Alchemy is a concept that - through learning it - can change your life creating better health, warmer relationships and a happier life. For more information please see the bottom of this post. )

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In loving memory of James Herbert McCarthy  July 2, 1939 - April 13, 2008

The phone rang today, it was Mom to tell me of your passing. The news saddened me and in all honesty, I had finished mourning you long ago. Learning of your death caused me to start reminiscing about you, the lessons I learned because of you and how what I felt about you has changed so much over the years. I decided to write this down so that I would remember in years to come.

When I was a little girl, I just loved my Daddy. There wasn’t a greater soul in all the land. The day did come when you decided to head off on an entirely different journey and you left me behind. For a very long time I was extremely angry with you and with me. I couldn’t figure out what I did that could have been so very terrible that you would leave me like that.

Eventually though - when I was 30 something - I remembered how much I loved my Daddy and I decided to carry that with me instead of all the hurt. There came a time when I realized that I had a choice to make: I could either help you continue your tradition of anger and bitterness or I could love you for the beauty that resides deep in all of us. Because of your choices and my choices, I learned how to let go and how to go on loving someone in spite of the circumstances. This valuable life lesson has served me many times over and will serve me often in the future.

I also learned through that experience that I could do it for myself. I didn’t need my Daddy or anyone else to tie my shoes. When you left, you declared me a big girl and it just took me a little while to step up to the task. I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t have become the self empowered, forward thinking, optimistic woman that I did, without you.

The pain you must have felt Daddy, I can’t even imagine. It must have been something though to cause you to make the choices you did. Even when I knew you, you were always sad inside. When I was small I had a difficult time understanding why you were so sad - after all, you had a little girl like me…

Now that I am all grown up, I still can’t understand the specifics of who you were or why you were so sad. I know you didn’t like yourself much. I understand that whatever it was, it was just a lie you told yourself. It was easy for me to forgive your absence once I understood that you just got a little bit lost. We all get lost sometimes. Then again, I also trust that that was all part of the plan.

You chose a difficult role in my life. I want to thank you for that, it must have been really hard and yet, you lived up to the agreements we made before we came here. You gave me every opportunity to go forward without the habit of clinging to an anchor.

We are each the sum total of what we think we are and the choices we make. You had the strength to come here and be an example to me of what the outcome might be if we aren’t careful how we see ourselves and what choices we make. For that, you are my hero.

I love you for the gifts you gave me. I remember you giving me my first radio at 4 and staying up late with you watching rock music programs - you taught me to love music. I remember the summers camping in the north - you taught me to love nature. I remember the long drives to no where and every where - you taught me to love my mobility. I remember you teaching me to play baseball, how to fish and how to laugh - you were always so very funny though I don’t think you even knew that.

Truly, if it wasn’t for you Daddy, I wouldn’t be who I am today. What an amazing gift you gave me when you agreed to participate in a piece of my journey. I regret none of it for if any of it was any different, the outcome would also be changed.

You never loved yourself enough but that’s ok, I love you enough for both of us. You have been and will always be missed.

Be well Daddy.  I’ll see you again someday.

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For more information on Situation Alchemy, drop by Squidoo: Situation Alchemy

The Grand Experiment: The Rat Race Rebellion

Several years ago, Wayne and I began our own personal Rat Race Rebellion. We decided we wanted to create something quite different than we had been living and also different from what it appeared everyone we knew was living. We wanted to create a lifestyle based on joy that allowed us to do what we wanted when we wanted and have our income come out of that living. And so, the grand experiment was launched.

Our intentions were to create a life and a way to make a living that allowed us to work from home doing only those things we enjoyed doing. The internet seemed like the most obvious route since we were both comfortable with computers and we had many talents that we could hone and expand on that were internet friendly. We were quite lucky that the things we enjoyed doing were based in communication; if we were into something like tv or games, it would be difficult to make a living doing those things.

The first few years we were involved in a network marketing company and followed that crowd in their suggestions in becoming internet marketers. They seemed to know what they were doing however; we didn’t have the success they claimed we should have though we had some and it was clear that many things were missing in what we were doing. At one point in the network marketing phase, someone in our upline had an argument with the owners of the company we were representing so the whole group was moved to a new company. We followed along when everyone left and the whole thing pretty much fell apart. We did learn a great deal though and following that bunch eventually lead to the creation of the Powerful Intentions Community. It was a wild ride when the Secret people decided to host their forum with us.

So the first really important lesson we learned in our Rat Race Rebellion was to know when to stop following someone. It’s great to follow other people - it fast tracks the learning curve - and it is also important to understand that anyone you follow can only take you as far as they have gotten themselves. There comes a time eventually when a new role model needs to be found or one must strike out on ones own if real progress is to be made.

There were times during our participation in the network marketing group that we had this feeling like there was way more to learn about internet marketing; however, we didn’t listen to our own gut feelings. The second lesson we learned in our Rat Race Rebellion was to always listen to our gut feelings. If we had just listened to our own gut feelings we would be a lot farther ahead now…

Through these experiences and the building of Powerful Intentions, we learned massive amounts about relationship marketing and marketing through email lists and forums. We also learned how to coach and support others, write useful content, create powerful profiles (there is an art to it) and how to create static web pages and splash pages. These were some wonderful pieces of the puzzle and there was far more to learn. We also developed a marketing philosophy that we continue to use today called, ‘vortex marketing.’

We were also studying the law of attraction really heavily and so as soon as we realized our mistakes, we began the process of attracting new opportunities into our lives. At this point we decided we wanted to create our own things and so we started setting intentions for brilliantly creative ideas to form. Honestly, since we began doing that, we’ve had way more ideas then we’ve had time or energy to develop them. Rat Race Rebellion lesson number three was: be careful you don’t create your own Rat Race.

The first company we seriously tried to develop was called The TeleConnection and it was intended to be an ebay of tele-courses. For 2 years we busted our butts on that endeavor with a grand total profit of $256. What we had actually ended up creating was a full time job for both of us, providing free services to instructors and students who only wanted the free stuff. If it had worked the way we had envisioned it, we would have had a team of instructors who all contributed to the ‘student traffic’ and we would have all made some serious money.

What actually happened was we ended up with a bunch of instructors who were expecting draw from traffic we were creating while keeping their own lists private. In all fairness, there were a few who actually played the way it was set up; however, it just wasn’t enough. Rat Race Rebellion number four is: Don’t build anything that requires the support of large numbers of players supporting one another. They won’t do it even if they stand to gain more by playing full out. It really makes me wonder how pot-luck dinners manage to be successful…

Through our TeleConnection project, we learned how to create, administer and maintain a functional web site, pull together teams of people, construct and lead teleconference calls, build, launch and teach telecourses, achieve natural first page search engine rankings and create large amounts of traffic. At the height of The TeleConnection we were seeing over 8000 visitors to our site per day.

We also learned how to put all of the personal development information we had together and assist people to become more then they ever dreamed they could be. We discovered that everyone is an expert about something and turned ordinary people into instructors, speakers and in some cases authors. It was a beautiful time for us because we had so many opportunities to watch people shine; however, it had been a couple of years since we had had an income, so it was time to move on.

From there, not really knowing what we wanted to do next, we joined a gifting program which worked really well for us for a while. After a year and a half we had a sizable group and we were having a blast assisting these people to discover their brilliant nature. It did eventually get very time consuming and so we learned Rat Race Rebellion lesson 5: Even things that pay well can turn into our own private Rat Race.

During our time in this program we learned that we could attract large amounts of money when we focus and that our skills as people builders were blossoming in powerful and unexpected ways. We also developed a marketing skill set that we have dubbed, ‘passive marketing’ or ‘back burner’ marketing.

That left us casting about looking for the next thing we wanted to explore. True to the law of attraction, it wasn’t long before ideas started flooding in. This time we were armed with a far clearer picture of what we wanted, didn’t want, what we need to get better at and also what we are getting pretty good at.

It was however, time to reassess what brought us the most joy because our intention was to pursue joyful and prosperous living. Wayne loves developing web content, I love to write and we both absolutely love assisting and witnessing the unfolding of human potential in others and ourselves. After a few days of talking about all of this, we came up with the idea of ‘modern day bard.’

In the older times, a bard was a story teller (and often a musician) that traveled from town to town telling the news and stories of other places. They were honored guests because their stories offered a glimpse of a world that was otherwise inaccessible to many people and also because their stories taught people about themselves and the important life qualities like courage, love and creativity. In those times the most prominent marketers were bards; educating people about the new inventions in the world and creating a market for those items.

That excited us in big ways, it was so us… So now we just had to combine the ancient with the new and create something that felt like both. From that came our internet magazine - The Magic Happens: Wayne, Kat and Friends, Thriving Out Loud. Our magazine was launched in July of 2007 and using the many skills we learned in the other stages of this journey, we have created huge amounts of traffic and a solid reader base even though it is only a quarterly publication.

Recently, we launched a companion community for the magazine called ‘The Magic Happens Community.’ In less then a month we have almost 100 members.

We have also created a bunch of side things like a Law of Attraction Directory for people who want to do business with like minded people. Hey we are still learning and the directory and a few other things we have created haven’t worked the way we thought they would. Rat Race Rebellion lesson number 6: The learning never stops and that’s a good thing.

A couple of weeks ago, Wayne released his first book with ‘A Beginner’s Guide to Website Design’ which turned out to be absolutely brilliant and everyone who has bought it has been flat out impressed with what they got for their money.

A friend of mine and I will be releasing a free mini-ebook at the end of March that is about stress and decompressing. In about 8 weeks, I will be releasing my first ebook on Manifestation. The list just keeps going on and on. Man, are we having a ball!!

The point I am trying to make is this: We learned more from our failures then our successes. The key to crafting a new life exactly as you want it is to be is to make as many decisions as possible and act on them; good or bad, success or failure, each acted on decision will give you more information and bring you closer to your ultimate goal. It takes time to craft a life that isn’t prepackaged.

It looks like we have caught you up fairly well and maybe this will make the rest of our posts make more sense now. We hope that our story has served you in some way or inspired you to begin your own Rat Race Rebellion. Telling the story has certainly served me in getting more clarity about where we have been. We would love to hear from you if our story has helped or inspired you in some way. Tell us about yourself and what your dream life might look like!

Happy Trails
Kat

PS. We have openings for 2 people who would like coaching in creating their own Rat Race Rebellion and dream lifestyle. If that sounds like you, please contact us for your complimentary 30 minute session and to discuss our rates. It would be our pleasure to support you!

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Every once in a while a healthy thoughtful mind needs to go on a tear about something and boy have I been on one lately… I’ve tried my best to keep it to myself and change my thinking but as the Law of Attraction demands, it keeps growing. So it’s time to let it out and take a look at it. For pineapple’s sake girl! Just say it!!!

Why is it that we as a culture still fall for the ‘quick fix’ mentality that has been so prevalent the last couple of decades? Are we really that gullible? Or is it that we are in so much of a hurry that we don’t stop and think it through; or perhaps a really bad case of wishful naïve thinking?

It doesn’t matter if we are talking our spiritual journey, our personal journey, our financial journey, building relationships or anything other thing – it takes time, commitment and effort to learn, grow and understand!!

So many people seem to always be looking for the snake oil that will make life perfect –and there are huge numbers of marketers out there ready, willing and chomping at the bit to sell them that snake oil!

We live in a physical dimension! Every manifestation no matter what it is has an action – probably many actions – required to finish the manifestation. Even if I won the lottery, I would probably have to buy the ticket and then I would definitely have to go collect my winnings. I will never fall out of the ceiling and land on my head. Even if it did, I would still have to get up, pick up the money and put it somewhere…

It simply doesn’t make sense to me that we all believe in instant and effortless fixes. There are inspired actions that can feel effortless and they are still actions that could feel effortful under different circumstances.

Here’s an example:

Wayne and I are co-founders of the internet community called Powerful Intentions. If you are interested in Law of Attraction, manifestation or the movie ‘The Secret’ you’ve probably heard of us and if you haven’t you probably want to. Powerful Intentions played a big role in the launching and the viral marketing of The Secret and therefore, we are counted among that number.

We absolutely love The Secret; it is energizing, up lifting and has helped many people to change their lives in ways they never could before. Gosh, the principles of the Law of Attraction (which is what The Secret presents in laymen’s terms) have given Wayne and I a way of life we could never have even dreamed of fifteen years ago so we are eternally grateful to this kind of work.

The truthful thing to point out here is that it is those who have taken the time, committed themselves and made the effort required to have successfully made the LOA information work for them. Since Powerful Intentions hosts The Secret forum, we get to watch hundreds of hopeful people flock to the forum every week, most expecting a quick fix to all their challenges and to have their dream come true next week, because they are after all following the steps. We also get to watch almost the same number of people give up in frustration and defeat because their every whim hadn’t manifested the very next week and it wasn’t even possible to begin with!!

Sadly, this is in part due to The Secret movie itself. The presentation of the Law of Attraction information, while up lifting and energizing, alludes to the idea that you will have instant success if you follow the steps. We believe there should be a disclaimer at the beginning of the movie telling viewers that the information presented is the equivalent to a kindergarten level of learning and that far more understanding is necessary to reap the benefits in any powerful way.

If only it was that easy and it’s not so why keep lying about it?

And why do people keep accepting those lies?

The promise of a quick fix is a widely used marketing ploy that really irritates me because not only is it a lie, it discourages people leaving many to feel less then adequate since they couldn’t reproduce what was promised to them if they just bought this or practiced that. The last thing our culture needs is less self esteem.

This false promise is prevalent in so many markets that it is astounding that more people haven’t caught on yet. I left Network Marketing for this very reason – promises of instant success that left people feeling inadequate. I’ve read massive amounts of internet marketing material that make promises that are so bold, I can’t believe they get away with it; always alluding to the idea that if it didn’t work for you in the first week then you must not have tried hard enough…

Don’t get me wrong here: I believe everything and anything is possible. What I don’t believe is that instantaneous results are possible for most folks. It would serve us all to begin looking at life as constantly going to college and really putting the necessary effort into learning each new skill (the principles of the Law of Attraction are a skill set!) we choose to learn. Those who take that approach, always succeed in whatever they are trying to do.

Wayne and I are working on a number of projects and a few books. We’ve been told that it will take us longer to achieve what we want to achieve since we insist on telling the truth about things. We can’t in good conscious tell it any other way – to us, it’s not in integrity to lead people to believe something we know is not true. We will always tell the truth about that…

If I could change the world, this is where I would start. I would begin to adjust the expectations of people to help them get back to a place where we took pride in the development of a skill; to move away from the idea of fast food, fast answers and instant success strategies. Who knows, maybe I will get the chance to help this one along one day.

Happy, truthful trails!

Kat